She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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