Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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