Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
