We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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