the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
