she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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