Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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