This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
vagina is talking i cant
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
