At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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