my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize