Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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