jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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