I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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