i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
where are my eyebrows?
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