If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
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