I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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