maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
