Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
