Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
PS: I just woke up from my shower
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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