is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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