shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
