Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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