she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
