Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
