The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
