You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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