pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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