He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Vodka?
Forever.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
