Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
