All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We are two peas in an std pod
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
