when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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