I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize