hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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