I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
