We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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