Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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