I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
pop tarts are not kleenex
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
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