no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
