I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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