she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
