What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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