After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
