At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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