I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
