Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
