She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
