We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
