I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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