Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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