Ambien. No doubt about it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
