Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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