Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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