I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
