Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
