come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
