The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
