Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
