I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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