just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
