he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
