She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
