YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
