pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
