yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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