I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
