She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
