You're earring is so big in my mouth
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
